Taking on the role of a parent is one of the most
significant responsibilities a person can embrace. When you become a parent,
you also choose the path your child will walk. Will they leave a meaningful
legacy, live an average life, or fade into obscurity? Your approach to
parenting determines whether your child will be:
- A
person of impact
- An
average individual
- A forgotten soul
Raising a Child with a Purpose
A person of impact leaves behind a legacy that benefits
humanity. This could be through beneficial knowledge, raising righteous
children, or acts of continuous charity. Raising such a child requires
conscious efforts, teaching them values that shape their character and inspire
them to contribute positively to society.
📘 Recommended Read: "The Whole-Brain Child" – A must-have parenting book that shows how to raise emotionally intelligent, balanced children.
The Ordinary Individual: A Life Without Distinction
Most people live an average life, following a predictable
cycle:
- Born
in an ordinary family
- Raised
with a conventional upbringing
- Attended
average schools
- Graduated
with average grades
- Secured
a typical job
- Married
an ordinary spouse
- Had
average children
- Lived
a routine life
- Passed
away without leaving a lasting mark
Their existence, though not necessarily bad, lacks
distinction. Society neither greatly benefits from them nor remembers them
after they’re gone.
The Forgotten Souls: A Life Without Purpose
Some people come into this world, exist without direction,
and leave without making an impact. Their lives are defined by idleness and a
lack of contribution. They neither harm nor benefit society but remain
unnoticed and unremembered.
Adolescence: A Critical Phase in Shaping the Future
Adolescence is a crucial stage in life, often filled with
challenges, self-discovery, and identity formation. Understanding these phases
helps parents guide their children towards a meaningful future.
1. The Imitation Phase (Ages 12-15)
During this phase, teenagers often imitate individuals they
admire. These role models can be:
- Celebrities
- Athletes
- Political
figures
- Religious
leaders
If the chosen role model is positive, the teenager adopts
beneficial habits. However, negative influences can lead to destructive
behaviors. Parents must be active role models so that their children choose to
imitate them rather than external figures.
2. The Competitive Phase (Ages 15-18)
Teenagers become highly competitive in this stage, striving
for excellence in academics, sports, friendships, and religious practices. This
can sometimes escalate into rivalry and conflicts, especially among peers.
To foster healthy competition:
- Encourage
self-improvement rather than comparison with others.
- Assign
household responsibilities to instill a sense of accountability.
- Support
their endeavors without imposing unrealistic expectations.
3. The Social Maturity Phase (Post-18 Years)
At this stage, adolescents develop a clearer sense of
responsibility and independence. Their influences shift from peer groups to
societal and ethical concerns. Many engage in:
- Volunteering
and social service
- Intellectual
pursuits
- Religious
commitment
To support their growth:
- Provide
opportunities for meaningful engagement in the community.
- Encourage
involvement in positive social circles.
- Guide
them towards self-awareness and personal responsibility.
🎓 Course for Parents: Understanding the Teenage Brain – Online Workshop – Learn how to guide your teen through emotional growth and identity formation.
Parenting Strategies for Raising a Child of Impact
1. Be a Role Model
Children imitate their parents’ actions more than their
words. A parent who demonstrates kindness, discipline, and integrity naturally
inspires their child to adopt these values.
2. Use Encouragement, Not Fear
Excessive criticism, punishment, and negative reinforcement
alienate children. Instead, parents should:
- Praise
efforts and improvements.
- Encourage
open communication.
- Guide
with patience and understanding.
3. Promote a Growth Mindset
A child should not be pressured to outperform others, but
should focus on self-growth. For instance:
- If
they memorized five chapters of the Quran, encourage them to aim for six.
- If
their academic score was 85%, guide them to improve without comparison.
4. Cultivate Responsibility
Assigning age-appropriate responsibilities fosters
independence. Tasks like:
- Helping
younger siblings
- Managing
personal expenses
- Assisting
in household chores
instill a sense of duty and self-reliance.
5. Encourage Community Involvement
Participation in volunteering, environmental efforts, and
charitable work broadens a child’s perspective. It instills empathy, leadership
skills, and a sense of belonging.
Special Considerations for Parenting Girls
Girls experience unique challenges during adolescence,
requiring thoughtful parenting approaches.
1. Pre-Adolescence (Before 12 Years)
- Typically,
obedient and eager to please
- Display
natural modesty and shyness
2. Emotional Instability Phase (Ages 13-15)
- Highly
sensitive to external influences
- Mood
swings due to hormonal changes
- Increased
focus on appearance and social approval
3. The Imitation Phase (Ages 15-16)
- Attempts
to emulate peers
- Might
experiment with fashion, hobbies, and behaviors
- Some
may engage in rebellious activities
4. The Social Maturity Phase (Post-16 Years)
- Develops
a stable sense of identity
- Gains
self-confidence
- Becomes
more involved in personal and social responsibilities
📖 Parenting Toolkit: Raising Daughters with Purpose – PDF Journal – A downloadable guide for parents of teenage girls, with practical checklists and reflection prompts.
Guidance for Parents of Teenage Girls
- Encourage
modesty and self-respect. One's sense of self-worth should stem from
within rather than relying on external validation.
- Create
a safe space for communication. Girls should feel comfortable
discussing their concerns without fear of judgment.
- Promote
healthy role models. Avoid idealizing celebrities who promote
superficial values.
Final Thoughts: Your Parenting Choices Shape the Future
Parenting is more than providing food and shelter; it is
about shaping the next generation. The path your child takes depends on the
foundation you build.
Will they be a person of impact, an average individual, or a
forgotten soul? The choice begins with you.
By fostering positive values, encouraging responsibility, and guiding them with wisdom, you can raise children who leave a lasting impact on the world.
📖 Bonus Resource for Faith-Based Parenting
If you’re looking to raise children who are not only impactful but spiritually grounded, start by building their character from within. Our guide, “30 Days of Islamic Self-Development”, is designed to help young Muslims (and their parents) nurture self-discipline, emotional growth, and faith-driven habits—one day at a time.
🧠 Each day offers:
-
Quranic verses for reflection
-
Powerful duas for personal growth
-
Practical actions to build Islamic character
-
Easy tasks for teens and adults alike
Help your child grow into a person of true impact—starting from the soul.
